brother blog Blog contains disturbing themes.
“What? Like a date or something?”
Her brows furrow in slight wariness— there
was something strange about him. Something
she couldn’t quite put her finger on.
"Nah, you’re not my type,“ he responded
honestly. "I’m just hungry, and it looks kind
of lame to show up in a fancy restaurant all
alone.”
"What do you say to dinner? I could really go
for some steak.“ His appetite ran a bit more…
eccentric than most. Jeff didn’t eat steak unless
it was blue.
Capture Bonding/Stockholm Syndrome/Lima Syndrome Starters
- “Okay! Okay. You’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere”
- “You’re going to do what I say from now on?”
- “I’ll chain you up again.”
- “Please don’t chain me up.”
- “Don’t make me do this. Please.”
- “Do you think I want to hurt you?”
- “I wouldn’t have to hurt you if you listened.”
- “I’m hungry.”
- “Just for that, you’re going to pay.”
- “I didn’t mean to.”
- “I’m sorry.”
- “Sorry doesn’t fix it.”
- “What are you doing with that gun?”
- “I’m going to shoot you, dummy.”
- “I’m having company so I’m going to have to lock you up.”
- “You know I love you.”
- “No you don’t. You can’t love. You’re a fucking psychopath!”
- “Kiss me.”
- “You don’t have to go.”
- “I…I think I love you.”
- “You didn’t have to kill him/her!”
- “I wasn’t going to let him/her touch you!”
- “If you love me, let me go.”
- “What are you doing?”
- “I’m setting you free.”
- “You’ve been so good lately. You’ve earned new privileges.”
- “Please don’t leave me. It’s cold.”
- “The chain’s too tight.”
- “You’re hurting me!”
- “Stop squirming!”
- “You’re all mine, aren’t you?”
- “I’m yours.”
- “That hurts!”
- “Why are you doing this?”
- “Do I have to have a reason to take someone as pretty/handsome as you?”
- “Why me?”
- “You don’t have to kill them.”
- “You’re going to kill them for me.”
did u mean rip reece bc he’s annoying as fuck
rip both of them let’s do it
“When you would look at Jeffrey Dahmer, into his blue eyes, you didn’t see the fucking devil, you know what I’m saying? You saw—at least I saw—a pathetic human being who was so hedonistically selfish that all he could think about was the pursuit of his own sexual pleasures.”
—Detective Patrick Kennedy on Jeffrey Dahmer
but i need a “give me weed and in exchange i’ll fuck you senseless instead of giving you money bc i’m poor af but i need to get high“ au where it’s totally and completely platonic at the starter bc muse a is struggling with money & muse b’s sex life isn’t the highest so they team up and end up turning into some kind of fwb in exchange for drugs kind of thing and then woah hELLO THERE TOTALLY UNWELCOME NOT-SO-PLATONIC FEELINGS WHERE DID YOU COME FROM???
Lost Cause — Imagine Dragons
oh — dig my shallow grave.
it’s not me you’ll save,
’cause i’m a lost cause.
"‘Rough night’? Yeah, I guess you could say that.“
He let out a low chuckle, careful not to upset his ribs
too much. "Look, I just need a drink–something
strong–and I’ll be fine.”
"[MSG:] What’s never happened before? The premature ejaculation or the ten minutes of crying afterwards? / / bc ricky loves to torment u homos sORRY xD"
[ SMS ] the crying
[ SMS ] tbh i thought your dad liked it rough
[ SMS ] he was a bit of a pansy
[ SMS ] got used to it quick enough
text message reaction
[MSG: ] What part of “he tried to put his dick in my ear” do you not understand?![MSG: ] Okay, so next time, maybe use a tighter knot?
[MSG: ] HOW DO YOU LOSE A CONDOM MID-INTERCOURSE?!
[MSG: ] As he was cumming he yelled “Yahtzee” then said I was free to go. That was my one night stand.
[MSG: ] “Sorry” doesn’t fix the chafing around my asshole!
[MSG: ] Relax, just get some good concealer and no one will even notice the bite marks.
[MSG: ] Okay, so apparently asking a boy “who’s your mommy?” doesn’t have the same affect as “who’s your daddy?”.
[MSG: ] He asked “who’s your daddy” and I said I don’t know.
[MSG: ] If I pick up a girl, and then she picks up a guy, and we all leave together, did I pick up the guy?
[MSG: ] On the upside, that’s one less thing on our sexytimes bucket list!
[MSG: ] Come hell or highwater we WILL manage to have sex at work without getting caught one of these days.
[MSG: ] Next time you’re taking nude pics for me, maybe glance around the room to make sure your MOM’S NOT THERE.
[MSG: ] Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
[MSG: ] SLUTTIEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.
[MSG: ] I can’t believe you fell asleep in the middle.
[MSG: ] Dude, I’ve got to get back on her good side. I’ve tried masturbating… it’s not the same.
[MSG: ] Long story short, we had to call the fire department to get the handcuffs off.
[MSG: ] I told you not to buy lube from a tourist shop!
[MSG: ] What’s never happened before? The premature ejaculation or the ten minutes of crying afterwards?
[MSG: ] So not only did my roommate NOT leave when he saw I had a girl there, HE STARTED SHOUTING BITS OF ADVICE.
[MSG: ] Walked in on my boss nailing his secretary on the copy machine. It’s gonna be a VERY awkward meeting tomorrow…
[MSG: ] Mom found our “collection.”
[MSG: ] I don’t even know if I LIKE sober sex anymore.
[MSG: ] Banging your kid’s teacher never ends well.
[MSG: ] Her dad came home when we were “busy” so I ended up jumping out her window and getting dressed while I ran up the block to my car. FML
[MSG: ] It’s just one of those days where I’m too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
[MSG: ] Turns out I’m not as bendy as I thought… it was fun trying, though!
[MSG: ] We rented a porno to get ideas. Long story short… we need a new showerhead.
[MSG: ] Never take sex advice from your older brother.
[MSG: ] Any recommendations for how to tell your girlfriend about the pics of her sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
[MSG: ] HE WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT ME. JACKING OFF. ON A PUBLIC CITY BUS. I SHIT YOU NOT.
[MSG: ] Speaking French in bed SOUNDS hot, but turns out I only know “baguette” and “bonjour.”
[MSG: ] So the threeway turned out to be a twoway while the third one sat and watched in a chair.
[MSG: ] NEVER ANSWER THE PHONE IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX EVER AGAIN
[MSG: ] We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
[MSG: ] Long story short, she’s passed out, we’re both naked, I’m gagged and can’t get the knot undone, we’re in the closet at her mom’s house. SEND HELP.
[MSG: ] Also, I’ve finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is okay.
[MSG: ] I’m sorry I laughed. But, honey, you were trying to give me a striptease and you tripped on your pants!
[MSG: ] So today I found out my mom’s dating my ex-boyfriend, and she’s kinkier than I am. Fuck divorce.
[MSG: ] Well, I never thought in the future I’d be able to say “hey remember that Easter when I made porn?”
[MSG: ] I have to admit, I’ve never heard of more than two people watching porn together…
[MSG: ] I don’t think bruises are supposed to turn green.
[MSG: ] That girl’s pussy is like White Castle, you crave it once in awhile, but next morning you regret eating it.
[MSG: ] Never sneeze while eating a girl out.
[MSG: ] I know he was trying his best to be sexy, but Johnny Depp, he is not.
[MSG: ] PENISES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE THAT OH MY GOD
[MSG: ] So it turns out he’s not into bondage.
[MSG: ] I’m straight, but shit happens.